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88 | The Art of Intentional Downtime: A Pep Talk for the Tired and Overworked

• Ladies First Digital Media Company • Season 5 • Episode 88

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Always tired? You are not alone. You are not crazy. We have good reason to be tired all the darn time. Tune in as I guide you through several reasons why we are all tired (cue society obsessed with productivity) and then give you a pep talk on how to design more intentional downtime for yourself this next month. 
Speaking of downtime, I'll talk you through 4 different kinds of rest and help you determine which type of rest you most need right now. With summer just around the corner and lots of end of the school year activities filling up calendars, it's time to prioritize rest and downtime. You'll thank me later! 
This isn't just about catching Z's; it's about crafting a sustainable rhythm that allows you to savor both your achievements and your well-deserved downtime. So whether you're listening on your commute or as you unwind from your day, let this episode be your invitation to redefine productivity and give yourself the gift of intentional rest.

This episode was inspired by the fantastic advice of Kendra Adachi from the Lazy Genius Podcasts. 

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Speaker 1:

Did she really do that? You, betcha? She did. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of you, betcha, she Did. I'm your host, raina Rakicki, and this is the podcast where we teach you to elevate your voice, grow your brand and earn your worth. We also celebrate Midwest accents and rad women doing amazing things.

Speaker 1:

In today's episode, we are talking about why we are so tired all the time. I know you're out there, I know you're like me and, as much as we love our jobs, we love what is going on in the world, we feel perpetually tired, and today is a pep talk for those of you who continually feel tired, day in and day out. You're not crazy. I see you, I feel you and we're going to dive in. We're going to dive in. So today's episode is actually inspired by some recent episodes from a favorite podcast of mine called the Lazy Genius with Kendra Adachi, and she's a genius about helping you do what matters and being lazy about the rest, and she just had a recent episode about why we were all perpetually tired and what to do about it. And, like I said, if you're like me and many women, you always feel tired. You've probably been thinking is there something wrong with me why am I so tired? I know this goes through my own head, even my husband's like why are you tired all the time? And I think there's a couple answers here. The first thing I want to point out, though, is that there is nothing wrong with you if you are tired all the time. There actually is a lot going on, and sometimes people say that when you're tired it's because you're doing too much, and while that might partly be true, I think it also has something to do with the era we live in. As you know, we are now fully immersed in the digital era, but before that, it was preceded by industrialization, which was all about productivity how can we do things quicker, faster, sooner, and that push for productivity, that push for hustle it has not stopped. We are trying to do so many things all at once all the time in the name of productivity. Kendra had a great line in a recent episode where she said we have been taught to chase and do and succeed and achieve and produce and be great.

Speaker 1:

Now, since most of you listening are women, you have a double whammy here, and it is a double whammy indeed, as I've talked about on the show in the past women no offense, men, but women carry most of the invisible labor in society. We are often in charge of those tasks that never end, things like laundry, doing dishes, picking up around the house. You never really feel like you're done because there's always another plate, another load of laundry to do. It just continues on and on. Women also carry enormous relational pressure to show up for people, whether that's your best friend, your neighbor, your mom, your sister, your children, your colleague at work. This takes a lot of energy. If you have children, you know that women carry more of the child rearing responsibilities, and pretty much the list goes on and on. So the reason you're tired is because we live in a culture that celebrates hustle and achievement, all while expecting women to keep things moving in the background, like always pulling those invisible strings, making sure to support everyone else while they hustle.

Speaker 1:

I feel tired. Even saying that Now, it's not hopeless. There are some things we can do to make us feel less tired. Yes, yes, it's true, you are not the problem that you are tired and, like I said, a big part stems from culture and societal expectations. On the flip side, I'm not saying that we need to give up and just rest and recharge all the time. That actually sounds kind of boring to me. But we do need to get more rest and we do need to be intentional about it. I think too many of us keep going, you know, burning the candles at both ends until we get sick and then we're forced to rest. Or we keep going till you have a mental breakdown and you can't handle it, or you snap and you yell at the people closest to you. We don't want to get to that point. We want to be able to manage things, our life, the hustle culture, in a way that causes us to slow down a little bit and enjoy life more. Doesn't that sound good?

Speaker 1:

So in this next section, I'm going to talk about four different kinds of rest, because sometimes you need a different kind of rest. I'm not just talking about going to bed early or sleeping more or even taking a nap. You might need a different kind of rest, and this was in another episode from the Lazy Genius, where Kendra talked about seven different kinds of rest. Today I'm only going to talk about four of them, and I want to challenge you, with May starting and coming up onto the scene, to build in some more intentional rest in your schedule, whatever type of rest it is that you might need more intentional rest in your schedule, whatever type of rest it is that you might need. The four types of rest that I'm going to talk about are relaxing, resetting, recharging and taking a break, and you might say, raina, those all sound the same to me, but they're actually not, and I'm going to kind of talk you through the nuances of those four types of rest.

Speaker 1:

So the first one is relaxing, and, as we know, we all need to not be productive. We need to be a person, we need to enjoy life. So what helps you relax? That's kind of personal right. It might be reading, it might be gardening, dancing, maybe it's playing pickleball. Maybe, for you, relaxing is hanging out at a cocktail bar with your bestie or watching your favorite TV show. Think about yourself, though. What do you like to do just to relax, to let things go? I know for myself. I'm a big nerd. I love to read books. I also like to garden. There's something about being outside, getting your hands in the dirt. That's just really relaxing for me. I know from some people relaxing is even cleaning the house. Some people really enjoy that. I am not one of those people, but if it's you, more power to you, that's awesome. The goal of relaxing is to just feel slower on the inside. It's like that mental version of taking off your bra, putting on yoga pants and just chilling out. So maybe this next month, maybe you just need to relax, you need to build in some more time just to feel slower. So think about that, all right.

Speaker 1:

The next form of rest is reset, and a reset is when you have gotten off the path from where you'd like to be. And sometimes, you know, life does this, it throws us lemons. Or maybe you're going through some big deal, some big change. You feel off, you know. Maybe you're caring for a sick, to loved one, and you haven't been able to relax for weeks and weeks and you just need a reset to get back to who you are, to find that joy once again. Sometimes a reset is when you need to get rid of mental clutter, like you know that feeling when it's hard to relax because you're feeling overwhelmed. You've got like so many things going through your brain and it just feels not right. You might need to give your attention to something else until you can take care of this thing that's on your mind. So I know, when I have a lot of projects going on, I just need to get some things in order before I can really dive into them. I just need, like a reset or like, for example, if everyone in my family has gotten sick, like maybe my daughter got the stomach flu and then it went around to everybody else in the family and it just threw everything off. So it's like I need to deep clean the house and I need to reset before we can move on.

Speaker 1:

I know, with May right summer's around the corner and something I'm going to need to do this month is just to reset my house. I really want to clean things out. I mean, it's really the essence of spring cleaning. I want to clean things out, get more air and more light in, declutter and then I feel like I can relax. But if there's too many things around me, I don't have that reset. I just can't move forward. So think about yourself. Is there some resetting you might need to do in May? Again, this is when you've gotten off the path of where you'd like to be. Something feels off. So if that's, you, think about what you can do to fix that. All right.

Speaker 1:

The next type of resting is recharge. We've talked about relaxing, resetting. Now we're talking about recharging, and recharging is when you feel empty or behind. This is when you're going to do the things that make us feel like ourselves. This could also be sleep and when you need to recharge. This is something that requires more time.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you need a whole day of recharging, maybe even a whole weekend to recharge your batteries. Recharging needs some space for a lot of deep breaths and a lot of what makes you feel like you. So, for example, a couple times a year, I can tell when I need a recharge. I'm just like edgy and a little antsy, and this is when I need for sure a day. But ideally I would love a whole weekend where I can just sit on the couch. I can binge read an amazing murder mystery, maybe I do some yoga, maybe I go for a walk. I'm going to have lots of great tea, I'm going to sit by the fireplace, I'm going to both stay up late reading and getting lost in a book, and then I'm also going to sleep in. After that, after I get that like much needed alone time and time in my own little world, I am going to feel a lot better. So maybe, if you have had a super busy spring. You've been doing lots of projects, lots of other things. You maybe need a whole day, a whole weekend, just to recharge, just to do the things that are going to fill you up and make you feel most like yourself. And again, maybe that's just some really intentional great sleep over a weekend.

Speaker 1:

All right, the last kind of rest you might need is a break. Needing a break is mostly centered around a season of life and it's because of that season it might be more difficult to take a break. So this is especially for people who maybe are caring for a loved one who's going through a hard time. Maybe you have a loved one who's sick. Maybe you're a new mom and you've got that new baby where you're always kind of on and you can't take a day off. You can't take a weekend off, but you can take little breaks, like long periods of rest just aren't an option in this case, but you can take a break here or there. You can do something to fill you up, and again, it varies from person to person. Maybe one day you might need to go exercise to make yourself feel like yourself. Maybe you need to go play some cards with some friends, but you're going to have to try your best to live in this season, knowing that it's not going to be forever, but it's here.

Speaker 1:

And how do you make space in this season for yourself, with kindness, with honesty, to take the breaks that you need so you can get through it? So, just to recap, we talked about relaxing, doing those things that really help you slow down. Resetting this is when you feel a little off and you need to kind of tackle things off your list or declutter or shift things around. Reset so that you can move forward. We talked about recharging. This is when, again, you take that whole day, that whole weekend to fill yourself back up, because you feel a little empty, you feel like you haven't been in connection with yourself. And then, finally, we talked about break. So, again, this really deals with a particular season of life where maybe you're caring for a loved one, someone's going through a hard time and you're really there for them, but it's when you're on all the time and you need some time to be off.

Speaker 1:

So, with May just starting up again, remember it is a season of change. Especially if you are a mom with kids in school, May is a crazy time. There's so many recitals and end of the year celebrations and parties and sports days and things like that that the calendar fills up really quickly. And it's important, like I said, to be intentional. Find time to take a rest, find time to intentionally build it in, so that is your homework. Find time to build in good rest. Know you're not crazy for being always tired and you know, maybe book the system a little bit. We do not have to be hustling and go, go, go all the time. You can let things drift. It's important to take care of yourself so that you can focus in on the areas that are really going to help you out.

Speaker 1:

So, on that note, wishing you a wonderful May and a restful May, this month, in May, we are going to be diving into the topic of elevating women's voices. I'm going to call it May Day, may Day for the month of May. We want to get your voices heard, we want to amplify them, and I am going to be sharing tips from myself, from also some experts, this month that'll help you in that category. All right, you betcha, she did. Listeners. Thank you for being here. Remember, if you like the show, please share it with a friend, a neighbor, a colleague. These are the things that really help this podcast grow. And, besides having the podcast grow, you are lifting up women, which is awesome. We all want that. All right, until next time, take care and get some rust in. Thank you.