You Betcha She Did! Life Advice, Business Tips for Rad Women Entrepreneurs, Leaders, Coaches and

54 | Breaking the Glass Ceiling: Empowering Insights from Women's Leadership Coach, Vicki Updike

• Ladies First Digital Media Company • Season 4 • Episode 54

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Ready to break the glass ceiling? Step into the empowering world of women's leadership with Vicki Updike, the founder of New Sage Strategies. An inspiring figure, Vicki shares her journey from corporate America to becoming a sought-after women's leadership coach. Her insightful strategies and no-nonsense approach to overcoming common leadership challenges will have you rethinking your own path toward leadership. Get ready for a deep dive into cutting disclaimers, speaking up, and making yourself heard in your workspace.

The episode gets further spruced up with an exciting preview of the upcoming 2023 Women's Leadership Conference. This is not just another event - it's an arena to inspire, educate, and connect women from all walks of life. We also delve into Vicki's Women's Resource Groups - a supportive space to discuss and overcome issues. But the learning doesn't end there! We've also curated a list of top-notch resources, including must-read books and enlightening podcasts, to fuel your leadership journey. Don't miss out on this inspiring episode filled with wisdom, insights, and power-packed action points!

Connect with Vicki:
LinkedIn = https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-updike/
Women's Leadership Conference in Green Bay, Oct. 3rd and 4th = https://womensleadershipwi.com/
New Sage Strategies Website = https://www.newsagestrategies.com/

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Speaker 1:

Did she really do that, you, betcha? She did. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of you, betcha, sheet In the podcast for female entrepreneurs, leaders and changemakers, especially from Wisconsin, share their wit and wisdom. I'm your host, raina Rikiki, today. I am very excited for my guest Today in the studio. I have Vicki Uptike and she is the president and founder of New Sage Strategies, which is a women's leadership development company equipping women with the tactics and strategies to continue to build their career. In addition, vicki also runs and hosts the Women's Leadership Conference coming up this next month, october 3rd and 4th, in Green Bay, wisconsin, which we'll tell you a little bit more about in the show. Vicki, welcome Hi.

Speaker 2:

Vicki. Hi, vicki, I love your podcast because there's a lot of great things going on here in Wisconsin.

Speaker 1:

That's right. I know People kind of forget about Wisconsin sometimes, but I was like it's full of amazing women making change, making things happen. So, speaking along those lines, I know you have a background in corporate America, so can you tell us about the journey from that part of your career to becoming a women's leadership coach?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I never thought that I would be running my own company and doing my own thing. I was on a corporate journey and it was awesome. My discipline is marketing but as I moved through my career, my last corporate position was a president of Silver Star Brand in Oshkosh. It was fabulous, it was a great team, we did good work and it was really good. But as I was kind of finding my way, I found that the thing that I loved most about it was the people development to do the great things, and that's what we

Speaker 2:

think of Leave, incorporate and doing what I do today. So it's been six years and I today do various different things A lot of coaching with various women throughout the region men too, but women. I do women's resource groups, which is a collaboration of coaching and group meetings, and I still do some executive teamwork right, executive team alignment and strategy. That is just. You know, there's just so much wasted time in the executive space if they are not aligned, so sometimes it's easy to have an outside person come in and say some of the hard things and get them back on track. So yeah, those are the corners that I focus on today.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Yeah, that's kind of a wide range of things, from personalized group mentoring to helping working with different companies and executives. So, in your experience, what are the key challenges that women often face in leadership roles and, like, how do you help them navigate those and overcome those challenges?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say the number one is confidence. You know, we are never 100% confident, 100% of the time, I don't care who you are, I'm not right, and you know it's. And confidence for me is a skill, just like leadership is a skill. It is something that we have to continue to work on. So I work with a lot of women on strategies to do it anyway and work through those less confident moments, and that's what continues to build your skill for confidence, you know. And then it comes more naturally.

Speaker 2:

But it's that self doubt that leads to that and to kind of just put that all aside and let's focus on what it is you want to, or where you want to add value and go there. So that is still, you know, that is still, I would say, most of my coaching clients. But a strong second is being heard right, it is the voice at the table and you know those were things that I experienced way back when I was in my corporate journey and I'm like you know it still goes on. So if I can help women work through those, that's that, you know, I love it.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I mean I could definitely see how confidence can be like a muscle that you just you just got to exercise it and build it like a skill In terms of being heard. Like what are, what are some things women can do to be heard? I mean, I definitely can see how that can be tricky and you know we're often overlooked, which we should be, you know, so I come from a family of talkers.

Speaker 2:

So, like when I was growing up, I'm like it was nothing to have two, three, four people all talking at the same time at dinner. So what we did was we just we just talked louder, right? Yes, well, I learned quickly that that doesn't work around the leadership table. So what I find is there are disclaimers women will put on their statement. It's like oh, I don't know if I should say this, but maybe we should think about, right, all of those things that seem like whatever's coming is not that important.

Speaker 2:

Yes, right. So I would say cut the disclaimers, stop discrediting your point before you even say it. So that's number one. Number two is is get to the point. You know, sometimes we I worked with this wonderful CFO and she would tell me all the reasons why what she's about to tell me is going to happen and what what it's all about, and then she would give me the answer, and then she'd tell me all the scenarios and why she thinks that could be right or wrong. I'm just like you get lost in what to listen for, right. So, my. So, if someone's asking you a question, answer the question first and make it clear, and sometimes the fewer words are a lot better. So those are little tactics.

Speaker 1:

I like that. I don't. And I've been seeing things on social media, these great little posts and I can't remember if it was from you or from someone else where it was saying things like you know, when you say something at a meeting, stop prefacing it with like I hope that was clear. Or you know, this hope this is a reasonable request, Like I was giving people permission to dismiss you and it's like, don't know, Don't say that, Just be like I stated a clear question, that this was a fair request. You know you don't need to make it gentle or polite or quiet. You know, even though we're raised that way, those are perfect examples.

Speaker 2:

You know, or after you make your point, you put the well, we don't have to or my thoughts, or you know, and it's like no, you know, and there is a confidence about being bold with just putting your idea out there, and yet that's what everybody wants to hear. That's why you're around the table.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly that's why you're valued. You have great things to share, so be confident in sharing those things.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, those, those are key, key items Going along with that. You know women often have more on their plate than men. It's been my experience, my friends experience, I feel like society's experience. What do you do? Do you often have to talk to women about that work-life balance? And you know, finding balance and not leading to burnout Like do you have any tips or strategies or advice in that category?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, that's a that is so personal to right and it's so hard to to tell people to write a wrong answer on that, so so, but yes, you know, it's well documented that you know, women do less, do more of the non-pay work, I think is how studies are calling it. So it's all the making the kids go where they are right, shopping, and just all of those things laundry, cleaning, whatever it is that, yeah, women pick up more of the burden of that than men. And, and sometimes that's necessary, right, I, on my journey, as I was going through my climb to the corporate ladder, I was going through a divorce and all of a sudden I'm like, okay, not only I, you literally have to do it all yourself. And so, as I reflect back on those years and and what that was like, it was important for me that my work knew my boundaries. So there were a couple of days a week that I could work till whenever, right, I didn't have a time.

Speaker 2:

I had to come home, but there were the other days that I had to leave and to just say those things.

Speaker 2:

So people understood them and and there, of course, there were always a couple exceptions on when that didn't happen. But people are very respectful of boundaries. If you share what the boundary is. And so that's where I say, as you are going through your days and your stressful moments, find what are the things that are making that those moments overwhelming, and start peeling that onion and saying, okay, this, right, I have to be gone by 530 or, or you know, or I'm not answering emails after 630 or whatever it is for you, those are very reasonable boundaries and people will respect them. I just encourage people to be bold enough to say that yeah, and because you do a lot, and I also say right, we as women are like built to do it all, I mean, and right, we can, and many of us enjoy those, those components of our life when life is busy. And so say yes to the important things, because when you say yes, you're saying no to a ton of things, but enjoy the moment where you can say yes to the things for you.

Speaker 1:

You know, I like that, like don't be afraid to set boundaries and don't be afraid to say yes and no, depending on the situation. Right, you know, make sure it's worth your time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a boss one time that he would text me in the middle of the night and it wasn't.

Speaker 1:

he was my God. Why did they think that's okay?

Speaker 2:

Well, he was saying he and I'm like okay, Right, At this point I had teenagers that were driving and I'm like okay, can you please just set an auto that those will hit my phone at seven o'clock, Because when my phone was at night. I think my child was in the ditch, so yes, and he was very respectful of that. He's like oh my gosh, I didn't even think of it. I send those. I don't mean for you to respond, you know. So it was.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, I had to go in and say I'm not reading your text at two o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 1:

No, and don't make me think it's an emergency when it's not. Yeah, Like just use auto send or schedule it Like it's fine.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's not going to be easy ones, right. Those are kind of the big boulders that are easy. It's the little poppin of the person that says can I have five minutes? And you know it's going to be 45 minutes, right.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And to say, okay, five minutes, and if it needs to be more than that, you can stop them at the five minutes and say we're going to have to find another time. Yeah, Great. You know, those daily cadences are almost harder to hold your boundaries than the big ones.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that tip actually Because sometimes, yeah, you feel like, once the meeting started or you know, whatever you're working on, you can't interrupt that flow, but it's like you can. Why can't you just be like it's not? I don't have the time right now, so let's find a new time. Awesome tip.

Speaker 2:

And so many you know, and there are people that just love to vent, which there is a value to being someone that people can vent to and you don't have to take anything from the venting, right? It's like, okay, you got five minutes, and just so we know I'm not taking any of this from you, right? They just need to say it and I'm like, okay, go Right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, go ahead, let it off your plate.

Speaker 2:

But that's a way for you to kind of manage time and stay. You know on the test that you have meaningful things to do in the day too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah for sure. Well, speaking along those lines, you know women's leadership has gained attention in recent years. It's growing. There's still a ways to go, but it is getting better. What unique qualities do you believe women bring to leadership, and how do you help women like leverage those qualities effectively?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say the one is their emotional intelligence. Women are more perceptive, they listen at a different level and they can see things broader than just the business topic in front of them. Right, we can see when people are being distressed about things, and so emotional intelligence, I would say, is the top one, and it is more important now, right, and it's gaining importance in leadership, that emotional intelligence. But when I was going through my journey, that wasn't necessarily the case. So what I love about women on their leadership journey today is that you can be you truly, the authentic. You so care about people, care about them. If you cry, cry right. These are things that are acceptable and actually make you just a stronger leader and, you know, can collaborate with the team to get better results.

Speaker 2:

But before, I just saw the cry thing. Okay, so can I stay on crying for a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know women hate crying at work and the rule is that you know if you don't have to try not to cry but yet crying is, there's a reason for it. So I always tell women if you do have the tears, just explain why your tears are there. Don't let anyone assume why you're crying. So right you could be passionate about something, you could care about something you could. You know you could be feeling a loss of something and those are all real things. But put words to those tears instead of having others just kind of guess what you might be cracking out. But it's okay to cry because that's how we are sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we're humans, exactly. It's a. I feel like it makes you relatable, but I do like that's a great tip. It's like don't let anybody assume what it is about. Like be clear in what you're expressing and your emotion.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah so, but those leadership traits right. As you look at the skills on leadership traits between men and women, women carry, you know, those that that where it's understanding the person you're working with better, so they excel in those skills and that is just so incredibly valuable. So keep caring about people you know, keep doing the good work you do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's talk a little bit about the Women's Leadership Conference coming up, like where did the idea come from? And then what can people expect? I know I'm excited, I can't wait to go.

Speaker 2:

I can't wait for you to go either. Yeah, so it started. So 2023 is our fifth year, so it's our five year anniversary. So that's fabulous. So in 2018, as I was leaving corporate, I was invited to the Forbes Women's Business Summit in New York. It's a three-year summit. I mean, I think Michelle Obama was legitimate. I mean, she was the speaker.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's awesome it wasn't able to go, but it got me thinking, kind of like you, there are some really cool women here in Wisconsin. What if we pull ourselves together and have a wonderful day for us? That's where the idea started, and I connected with an event management company, I connected with a couple of companies just to say, okay, what do you think about this? And I had just gotten very positive support. So we started planning.

Speaker 2:

2019 was our first year and I think we had 240 women there here in Appleton and it was, and it just there wasn't energy in the room, right, I have no, I don't know how to explain it, other than I. It almost brought me to tears and it almost does every year, because at the end of the conference, there is just a home, they're all talking, they're enjoying themselves, they're learning from each other, they're networking, and that is what I say. That is what success looks like. Right, it's just, it's amazing. So so that's where the little idea came from.

Speaker 2:

And and this year we are at the Resh Expo in Green Bay. So this is our third venue because we've outgrown the two prior venues, and I know kind of cool, and it is a full day conference. We start in the morning with breakfast and a keynote speaker, and we end with the day with another keynote speaker and a cocktail reception, and in between, there is times for you to meet people, there's times to learn, there are definitely a ton of inspirational stories that you will hear and, and really it is a day for you to just unplug from what you got going on and soak it all in.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Are there any particular speakers or sessions that you're extra excited about? I look through it. I mean, it all sounds amazing, but is there anything that you're like? I'm really pumped about this one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, there always is. I mean everyone it's. It is so, as I work with women throughout the year, really hear what is going on now and really try to pull those topics into into the conference, right. One of them is influence. Right, how do I have more influence at work? How do I have you know, can make an impact, how can I show my impact? And we have a great speaker, karen Lempke, that's going to talk about being the powerful you and doing all that and it makes sense for how you are. So it's just she's that. One is I'm super excited about Our keynote. Quinn Connors is talking about having your voice heard, and sometimes we don't even have to say anything for our voice to be heard. So how can we have that presence, that we have a meaningful dialogue and people understand, we believe with that common understanding, and she's just hilarious and funny and just she's going to be amazing. So those are a couple of topics that I'm excited about.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, those sound good and very timely, you know, just for being in 2023, like influence kind of, yeah, letting your voice be heard among the many voices out there.

Speaker 2:

Can I get one more? Yeah, we have the director of Title Tom Tech speaking and she is bringing with her one of the entrepreneurs that they support and that is building their business within Title Tom Tech. And it's just so cool to hear how women entrepreneurs can get to their businesses funded and give them exposure and support to take their business to the next level. So you know these little crazy ideas we come up with and you know it's been politely called their side hustle, but what can you do to make your side hustle the thing?

Speaker 1:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

So you don't necessarily have to be in business to enjoy the conference. We really have the topic structured in a way that you will take value from whoever you are, whoever you happen to be in their session Awesome.

Speaker 1:

That was another question I had, so I'm glad you answered that. Yeah, like you don't have to be a leader in the business setting or have a business, you just need to be a woman who wants to be inspired, wants to network, wants to meet some rad women and you will get a lot out of this conference.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. You know those are our three pillars, right? It is inspiration, and you can take the inspiration you get to any asset of your life. You are going to learn new things and those new things you can use in any aspect of your life. And I really, really encourage people to network. We don't have any reserve tables this year, which is the first year we're not doing reserve tables. But what I found is with reserve tables, people were just sitting by people they knew I want you know, and so, and that can be scary for some of us that are walking in all by yourself.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, yeah, so we're making that easier.

Speaker 1:

I like that Mix it up, get people talking and meeting other people, because yeah it's not going to happen if you're just with your friends and hanging out with them the whole day, right? So this is sort of going along with the Women's Leadership Conference and after the conference, like are there any like books or podcasts or even other workshops that you find really fulfilling in terms of developing women's leadership? Any recommendations you could give for our audience, for resources?

Speaker 2:

they could check out. So, one of the ones that I love love right now. Well, I love Kim Scott so, and I've been trying to get her at the conference. I just haven't been able to work that out. But Kim Scott has a book and I think it was out last year, but it's called Just Work and she highlights a few of these barriers that sometimes we, as women, don't know we're even bumping up against them because it's the way it all exists, and her voice is bold and fresh, and so that was one that I really love.

Speaker 2:

You know, there's just biases at work, that we have been working with them so long that we kind of overlook them too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they're almost invisible right at this point, but we need to be aware of them.

Speaker 2:

And she just does a nice job of giving you one awareness into what to do about it, and she's, and so I love her, and she has a podcast too. So but I gotta tell you okay. So I know there's a lot of Renee Brown lovers out there.

Speaker 1:

Definitely.

Speaker 2:

I so I first read Renee Brown when I was president and I am reading this thing, like what is this? I'm like, okay, I said that aside, but right now I've opened that book back up about five years ago and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's like uh and so vulnerability and weird kind, and I'm just like, so I ended up I had the book, I was had the audio, I had her reading the book while I was like taking notes and I'm like I don't sit my funny how sometimes it lands and sometimes it just doesn't. So yeah, so I so I am so she's, I love following her now and but it took me a minute.

Speaker 1:

Hey, that's okay. Sometimes it's not the right timing, right. And then now you're like, oh, it all makes sense now. Or like I'm in this space in my life and it's like, uh-huh, it's clicking, there we go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say a shared experience that that happens in in almost all of the women's resource groups that I facilitate is that they recognize that they're not alone.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And you know, because we think we're going through this and it's like you know it must be me, how it must be the environment. How are we to navigate through something like this? And when you are able to share that in a room full of respectful women that they're like, oh, let me tell you about my story, or let me tell you about what worked for me, and there is just such validation that comes with knowing that you're not the only one going through these issues. Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 2:

Because sometimes we feel like we're on an island Right. I started the women's resource groups because when I was a president, I felt there wasn't a room that I was in, that I couldn't shed the persona of president to talk about the real issue, right, the things that are truly that I'm struggling with and you know, even you know, and it could be my insecurities, which I'll put that out there. Well, everyone has them too, but you know, I was a young president and I didn't want to share insecurities with many people.

Speaker 2:

And that's why I started these women's resource groups and really came to a place where we can talk about those things in a really structured, helpful you know manner that we really feel supported and they're not alone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, that's so key. Could you tell us a little bit more about the women's resource group, like, can anyone join at any time and who is it specifically for?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so how the groups work, we keep them small. So there are 10 to 12 members and we keep them small because we really want the members want to know each other well and to have the time to really support each other. So we keep them small and they're intentionally. The structure of the group is depending on the group. There is times when we meet as a, as the larger group, and that you know, so the 1012 of us will meet, and which is facilitated by me.

Speaker 2:

Topics come from the conversations I'm having with the members, like, okay, would you want to bring that to the group? How you know? Or I find a podcast that touches on something and then we, they all, have to listen to it before and then they talk through it, and then there's coaching. So there's still one on one coaching and that time is their time, right? I don't bring. That is their confidential. What are they personally working on? And if they want to bring some of that to the group, they can, but that's still the one on one professional development for you. So, and I ask for a year commitment One is because the group gets, they, they, they want to stay together. They don't want strangers coming in every month, right?

Speaker 1:

That makes sense. We're building relationships as you go, so yeah.

Speaker 2:

And they're non competitive. So there's there is not. You know, you should your, you know there's two marketing agencies. We would only pick one because we just don't want to put the interest, but they are women and how they're structured.

Speaker 2:

So there's a women's presidents group, so all women presidents. There's a women executive, so women. That report to presidents is another group. And then there's that director layer and the individual contributor Right, and so there's a lot of people that are, you know, that are moving their career forward and enjoying it all and, you know, and still need to find a meaningful network of people that they can talk about the hard things to. So those are the three different types of groups and the groups, and there's multiple per per type, but we usually kick off in January and and we sign up for a year, and so, yeah, those will be kicking off here in the next couple months. Where, where we will be putting the groups? I gotta tell you, my women's presidents group, though, has been together for five years and they're like, oh, wow.

Speaker 2:

I know they're like we don't want anyone new right now, or I'm like, and because it is that, ownership of those relationships is important to me too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I can. I can fully understand that. Well, well, sounds like there's a lot of exciting things going on in your world with the women's resources group, the one-on-one coaching, the leadership conference. Is there anything else you want to share with our audience before we go?

Speaker 2:

You know, I guess I'm on a personal journey this year too, so I am on the track to get my professional coaching credential this year which is amazing, you know and so I'm just leveling up the coaching skill set, and so I'm living the learning girl this year. So many of us do, and I'm like, oh my gosh, sometimes I'm really screwed up too, right. So so I truly believe in having a coach. I have one, and so it is. It's, it's a very meaningful thing for me, especially as I'm on my journey this year too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that I think there's nothing better than having a mentor. It's just so nice to learn from someone, because there's always someone who is a little bit higher up than you, and it's like they have really important knowledge too in part, so good for you, that's great.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Thank you, yeah, Mentors, and you know our, you know. So often, I think, women are mentors and they don't even know they are, because others look up to them or you know, and so it is your daily kindness that influences the people around you just as much as the as a structured mentoring relationship.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yep. No, you're worth. You're definitely. I was giving advice, like you said, even when you don't know it, google. On that note, we're going to wrap things up. Please check the show notes. In the show notes I'll have all of Vicki's links, including a link to sign up for the women's leadership conference on October 3rd and 4th in Green Bay. Vicki, thanks again for being on the show, as always. If you like what you're hearing on you, betcha, she Did. Don't forget to share the episode with a friend who might need to hear it. Follow us on social media and leave us a positive review wherever you listen to your podcast. Until next time.